Contemplating
by AgentHexSparrowOfS.H.I.E.L.D
Summary: Set directly after 1x09 Spoilers if you haven't seem it yet


I own nothing... Love AoS though.. It's become one of my favorite shows. I was hooked after the first episode :)

This story is directly after 1x09

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

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I'm sitting in my bunk thinking about the past couple days. I am happy that May asked me to set up that prank on Fitz with her. It was pretty fun. I didn't say anything to Ward, but when I said that to him earlier about May needing to get laid, I noticed him tense up. I also haven't said anything about hacking to hotel video to make sure he was okay because I saw him go to May's room. I've been worried about him lately. A lot. And I'm worrying about Coulson and May, too. A knock is at my door. Ward.

"Hey, Rookie. Why are you up so late?" I shake my head trying avoid the conversation that happens to be inevitable at this current moment. "Skye?" I can hear the worry in his voice. Never before have I heard him worry about me.

"I'm just wide awake, Ward. After today, what can you really expect?" He nods at me. He still looks worried, though. I grow sad instantly thinking about what Coulson said to me. Ward starts to walk away, but I stop him. "Ward?" He turns to look at me. "Do you think I'll be a good agent one day?" He looks at me and gives me a faint smile.

"You know, never will I let anyone else know this so take it while you can, I asked my SO the same question when he first started training me." I believe him. I always believe him. I just can't tell him how I feel about him.

"Coulson told me that he thinks I'm good with people. That one day I'll be great at figuring people out. Like him. What do you suppose he means?" A look of confusion crosses Ward's face. His beautiful features are slightly changed by this look. It's the same look I gave when I began thinking about this. "What if he is gonna retire or something, like way too early? What if he wants me to fill in his shoes? Ward, I can't do that... I'm still just a kid. You've even told me that!" I tell him, fury and worry are thoroughly laced in my voice right now.

"Skye, calm down. Please..." I look up at him. His plea reaches his eyes. I still don't understand why he is so worried about me. "I don't think Coulson would do anything irrational without telling us. Just leaving us high and dry would be a bit irrational, don't you think?" I nod at him biting back my tears.

"A little, but Ward there's always a "What if", and I don't like this one that I'm coming up with." He cocks his head at me as if I have further confused him. "I think he's worried about himself, Ward. When I was checking out that stuff that I had to get into level 8 for, I saw that a therapist didn't request his physical report. He requested it himself." Ward's eyes widen at me a bit.

"Why?"

"Tahiti..." I say. Then we both say in unison.

"It's a magical place..."

"Oh my God... A safe word. Something that if he hears or says, he remembers something he's been forced to remember... We use that tact on people who have been sent into combat and come back as badly damaged POW's when they work for SHIELD." I nod.

"Loki and the Chitarian thingy... What if Coulson truly died and wasn't gonna come back? What if there was like some big coma or something that they held him in? Running tests trying to figure out how to force his body to stay alive and working?"

"Skye, how did you-"

"Come on the idea? Every time someone says Tahiti he has to say "It's a Magical Place". Did that not every strike up a slight flare of worry in you?" He nods at me and then leans back against my wall. "What happened, Ward?" He looks at me with a hint of pain in his eyes.

"What do you mean?" He knows what I mean. I can see it in his eyes. He's just avoiding answering me.

"Why did you go to May's room? I offered to talk to you... I guess I'm not good enough to talk to anymore, huh? I talk too much, never shut up." He rolls his eyes at me.

"Skye, I never meant any of that!" I glance at him out of the corner of my eye.

"Even what drunken people say is what they mean. It's just all pushed deep down and away so that they don't have to face what they truly feel when they're sober. Your anger worked as alcohol, Ward. It made you say what you truly felt. You just don't want to admit it."

"Skye, I-"

"What happened?" He pauses to stare at me. Longing in his eyes. Like he wants to tell me, but is scared of what I'll say.

"You'd hate me if you knew what I did, Skye. I don't want you to hate me." I let a tear slip down my face and he wipes it away.

"I could never hate you, Grant. You've kinda become my best friend. You, Jemma, Leo, Coulson... Hell, even May's a friend." He grasps my hand in his lightly, I take it another step and lace our fingers together. He says nothing, just stares at our intertwined fingers.

"I told you that you were right about my brother. My older brother pushed him into a well... He foreced me to sit there and watch him as he tried with all his might to keep above the water..." I see tears welling up in his eyes, and, without thinking, I pull his upper body into my lap so his head can rest on my chest. "I wanted to throw that damn rope to him so badly, but I couldn't swim either, and he threatened to throw me in that well with our little brother. When he walked away and wasn't looking I slowly let the rope down to bring him up. He barely made it out alive. He never hated me for it, but he should have. I could've gotten him killed, Skye." I lay my head on top of his and hold back my tears.

"Grant, had you not been there your older brother would've let him drown. I'm gonna bet that that is why he doesn't hate you. And you are wrong, I don't hate you for it. I think that you risked your own ass to give him that rope. You had to know that at any given moment big brother would've turned around and hurt you, but you sent that rope down anyway. You saved your little brother."

"At least someone thinks so." I can hear his voice crack with tears. My arms are around his chest and neck and his hands are holding onto my arms.

"You're a brave man, Agent Ward. You were a brave child, Grant. And you will always be brave... That's why I got so close to you." I feel him slightly stiffen, and I fear that I have said to much until he turns around and kisses me. Not a cliched kiss, but a small kiss. It tells me everything. Including, "I care about you... A lot". I smile as he lays back in my lap.

"We just talked. She told me how to get over the rage. Think about something or someone that makes me happy."

"What do you think about?"

"You..." He tells me with a smile on his face. "If Coulson wants you to be his successor, Skye, he trusts you more than you know. And to answer your question, no I don't think you'll make a good agent." He waits a few seconds before speaking again. "I _know_ you'll make a _great_ one."

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Kay, so done :) Just a cute one shot that I wanted to do...


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